You were the best friend anyone could have

Sonya,

Saying sorry to you was never easy, but this time I mean it. You were my best friend, like a sister, and I could never hurt you. There were even times when I told myself that if someone tried to hurt you, I would kill them. I never realised that I would be the one who would hurt you the most, though.

You and Jason had been seeing eachother for months. We all went out together, and even though I was single, both of you always took me with you. You will never know how much that meant to me. The night you were ill, Jason and I had gone to get something to eat, and a movie to watch, and well, as we were talking, something happened. I can't explain it. We kissed, and I knew that it was more than just a kiss. Jason did, too. That was all though. Just a kiss.

Being near the two of you after that was never easy, and so I started to think of excuses not to go out, not to be around you, until we just stopped being friends. When college started I left, and I never even said goodbye. I know I hurt you, but to be around you both was hard. I couldn't even forgive myself for that kiss, and I know that Jason cared for you. It was easier this way. Two years have passed, and I haven't even been back home. I keep myself busy here. I don't even know if you and Jason are still together.

I'm sorry for not being there for you, I just couldn't live with the thought of what may have happened. I'm sure it was the right thing to do, but I still think about you, and you were the best friend anyone could have, but I wasn't.

Carrie